The Demand Withdraw cycle, which has it’s origins in EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) and it’s roots in attachment theory, helps explain what almost all of your arguments with your significant other are about, what to do to get out of the relational dance that’s causing the arguments, and how to correctly interpret the things that trigger us the most in relationships.
Tarot Tuesdays for 3.29.2022
Join me in answering a question from the Interwebs community with tarot.
This week's question: what can I do to get more motivated?
Tarot Tuesdays for 3.22.2022
Join me in answering a question from the Interwebs community with tarot.
This week's question: what can humanity focus on amidst the chaos and uncertainty of the world??
The Rehearsal-- By Jen Grady
In the ever-evolving world of mental health many of us have faced moments of uncertainty speaking with and meeting with providers and medication prescribers on our path to wellness. So many of us have experiences of getting on medications that are supposed to improve our mental health and yet months or years down the road when we no longer need them it becomes nearly impossible to imagine a life without them. Pharmaceuticals, which have helped so many people, often become a problem in and of themselves, and we are at the mercy of our prescribers to help us forge new paths towards our optimum mental health.
Life is not about being happy all the time, or feeling fulfilled all the time—neither is it about numbing out or staying distracted. Secure, healthy people still experience ups and downs in life. Everyone has bad days, sometimes bad weeks. It sometimes feels like we live in a culture that wants to medicate away the experience of being human.
Sometimes it feels like our own medication providers fail to see that suffering, struggling, tension, and discomfort are all aspects of change, growth, and evolution—they’re not always signs of deeper personal problems that require “fixing”.
Sometimes it feels like we medicate away every problem instead of feeling it, experiencing it, and learning from it.
This poem comes from the amazing mind of Jen Grady, local Missoulian, who graciously allowed me to share this potent piece of writing about an experience that so many of us can relate to.
The Rehearsal
About a week before we meet
I begin the talk again.
Practice for the performance of
The most palatable version of Jen.
I don't trust you, no offense
You yield unnerving power
In the audition for my sanity
You are my witching hour
My lies have caught up with me
My 'comfortably numb' long gone
Now the drugs on offer
Just make everything wrong
The weight of a misdiagnosis
Feeling mislabeled and misunderstood
What harm worse than indoctrination?
Is this the "right way" to feel good?
Feeling good was rare
In the days of self-medication
In the time of abusive love
Dead moms, and bodily mutilation.
Feeling ok was so foreign
I could be convinced reprieve was illness
But in putting myself back together
I found increasing comfort in the stillness
Leaving substances and abusers
Finding a home and making it mine
Having food readily available
I now know my own baseline.
What I questioned as too euphoric
Turned out to be rather benign
When I'm safe in my own home
The stress, the dependencies in decline.
A good day is now just a good day
I know that, but fear you do not
I really need to contemplate
If it matters what you think- it's fraught.
Set aside your diagnostics
Just take me as I am
Let me heal free from your judgement
Because I'll prove to you I can.
See? I feel like I have to prove myself
As if only you grant a course reversal
And this is why the week before meeting,
I feel like I need a rehearsal.
Tarot Tuesdays for 3.15.2022
Join me in answering a question from the Interwebs community with tarot.
This week’s question: Am I on the right spiritual path?
Overthinking? Here's a quick hack to help get off of the hamster wheel.
If you've ever found yourself overthinking something, laying awake in bed at 2 am rehearsing a conversation then check out this short video about how to hack your overthinking brain and turn things around!
Tarot Tuesdays for 3.8.2022
Join me in answering a question from the Interwebs community with tarot.
This week’s question: What do I need to know about quitting my job?
Attachment Theory for Humans--Made Simple
Attachment Theory helps intuitively explain why humans do what they do. It gives us a way of looking at patterns of human behavior that impact how we have relationships, navigate our world, and whether we feel safe and okay. Check out the video below for a quick introduction of the basics of the Wheel of Attachment!
Prefer the PowerPoint Version of Attachment Theory? Check out the video below!
Why being trauma informed matters, and how to find out if your therapist is actually trauma informed.
How do you know if your therapist is trauma informed?
A short list of questions to ask your therapist at your first session.
Read moreEnergy Center Guided Meditation
Join me for a guided meditation to help you feel more grounded and to clear and release energy from your body.
Tarot Tuesdays for 3.1.22
Join me in answering a question from the Instagram community with tarot.
This week’s question: What does the energy of March hold?
Polyvagal Theory: The Theory Everyone Should Know About! (Made Easy)
Polyvagal Theory, conceived and researched originally by Stephen Porges but now widely loved and adopted by the rest of us, tells the story of how our bodies and nervous systems respond to threats in our environment.
Read moreTarot Tuesdays for 2.22.22
Join me in answering a question from the Instagram community with tarot.
This week’s question: Should I apply for a supervisory position or stay on my current career path?
Upcoming Energy Report from Pam Gregory
Pam Gregory, well known astrologer from the UK, discusses upcoming changes.
Why am I anxious? Questions from a High Schooler
A high schooler reflects on the sources of anxiety and options for treatment.
Read more